Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Peter Lawford Memorial Invitation and Acujack oinker alert

Findadeath devotee Audrey in Arkieland sent this to  us.


The knock-off Rat Pack member, not worthy enough to wash Pandora's feet.

When Lawford died, he was cremated and buried in Westwood Memorial Park.

Photo by Roger Sinclair

Cut to 4 years later, his widow decided to write a memoir.

For publicity she claimed that Westwood was kicking her husband out because the Kennedy family failed to pay the outstanding bill for burial.

There was an outstanding debt, but the cemetery never EVER threatened to evict.

However, the National Enquirer made a deal with her.  Go figure!  They were given exclusive photographs of Lawford's burial-at-sea in exchange for giving  her shitty book a shout-out.

It failed.

The book came out about a year after.  haha.

The book is VERY trashy and very good.  For example:

Acujack was an electrical device that became Peter's best friend and companion.  The device is a male version of a woman's vibrator.  A man attaches it to him penis, turns it on, and it is meant to stimulate him to orgasm.  The sound it made was much like that of a kitchen blender, but Peter did not care.  He would attach himself to it at night, turn it on, and let it go literally for hours at a time until he eventually achieved some sort of climax.

The new relationship was almost as disgusting as his women, except that it looked ridiculous.  After several months of listening tot that motor whirr far into the night, I threw the machine out with the trash, hoping it would be gone before Peter awakened.  Unfortunately, he discovered it before the garbage collectors arrived and he was able to retrieve it.

He continued using it for the rest of his life.

For as famous as the Acujack was, it's difficult to find a photograph of one.  This is the best, but not really.

Audrey also found this article about Lawford being too "overcome" to attend the Dorothy Dandridge funeral, but spent 15 bucks on flowers.  Sorted.

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